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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?